You walk into a client’s home. Maybe you’re their regular caregiver. Maybe you’re filling in last minute. Maybe you’re the home care business owner doing a check-in.
And then something catches your attention: the client seems disoriented. They repeat a question five times in ten minutes. They insist they have somewhere to be. Or maybe they’re withdrawn, irritable, or afraid—and you weren’t expecting it.
Whether it’s listed in their care plan or not, dementia is something almost everyone in home care will encounter. The Alzheimer's Association reports that over 6 million Americans are currently living with Alzheimer’s disease—and millions more with other forms of dementia. As people increasingly age in place, more clients with cognitive decline are receiving care at home.
That means this isn’t just a caregiver issue. It’s everyone’s issue.
Whether you're supporting a client for months or just stopping by for the afternoon, knowing how to respond to dementia-related behaviors with patience and empathy can make all the difference.
Here’s what helps.
Dementia Isn’t Just Memory Loss
Dementia affects much more than memory. It changes how a person processes emotions, understands language, and interprets reality.
A client may ask to “go home” even if they’re sitting in their living room. They might accuse someone of stealing something they misplaced. They may become anxious, suspicious, or even frightened by a caregiver’s presence—especially if routines change or if they don’t remember who you are.
These behaviors aren’t intentional. They’re symptoms of a brain that’s struggling to make sense of the world. The more we understand this, the more we can respond with calm rather than frustration.
As dementia care expert Teepa Snow puts it, “Dementia doesn’t rob someone of their dignity. It’s our reaction to them that does.”
Enter With Intention
Especially if you’re stepping into a home for the first time—or filling in unexpectedly—it’s easy to feel rushed. But your tone and body language may carry more weight than your words.
Before you knock, take a moment to reset. Slow your breathing. Bring a gentle, steady presence into the room. People living with dementia are often highly sensitive to emotional cues. If you come in flustered, it can feed confusion. If you come in calm, it can anchor the whole interaction.
Once inside, speak clearly and at eye level. Introduce yourself, even if you’ve met before. Consistency in tone and pacing can go a long way in building trust.
Connection Matters More Than Correction
Imagine telling someone—gently, firmly, five times—that their husband passed away years ago… only for them to experience that loss like it’s brand new, every time.
That’s the danger of correcting a person with dementia. Logic often doesn’t land—and worse, it can cause distress.
Instead of focusing on what’s true, focus on what’s emotionally true.
If a client says they need to get to work, don’t insist they’re retired. Try asking, “What kind of work did you do?” This kind of gentle redirection acknowledges their reality without triggering panic or grief.
Research from the Journal of Gerontological Nursing shows that validation and redirection techniques reduce agitation and promote cooperation in clients with dementia, especially in home-based settings.
Behaviors Are Messages
When a client with dementia becomes agitated or withdrawn, it’s easy to assume they’re being “difficult.” But what if they’re just overwhelmed? Or in pain? Or tired?
Dementia reduces a person’s ability to express needs directly. So instead, they show us.
Pacing may mean they’re anxious or need the bathroom. Refusing food might indicate nausea, dental pain, or fear of choking. Silence may reflect sadness or exhaustion.
As caregivers, schedulers, or support staff, it’s not our job to diagnose—but it is our job to listen. What seems like a behavior problem might actually be a cry for help.
Keep Language Simple—And Your Presence Steady
When speaking with someone who has dementia:
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Use short, one-step phrases.
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Avoid long explanations or multiple options at once.
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Speak slowly and with warmth.
Avoid using baby talk or sing-song tones—it can feel demeaning. Instead, aim for respect and clarity. A soft tone and calm pace will often do more than any perfectly worded sentence.
Even if the person doesn’t understand everything you’re saying, they’ll remember how you made them feel.
If You Don’t Know Their Routine—Ask
Familiarity builds safety. A sudden change in caregiver, environment, or daily structure can increase confusion. That’s why routines are a lifeline for many clients with dementia.
If you’re new to a client:
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Ask a colleague or family member what their typical day looks like.
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Try to keep things consistent: same chair, same breakfast, same radio station if they listen to music.
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Repeat successful phrases, cues, or calming techniques others have used.
Even a single visit can feel more supportive when it honors the client’s rhythm.
Always Protect Dignity
Dementia can strip away independence—but it doesn’t take away personhood. Always speak directly to the client, not just about them. Ask permission before providing personal care, even if they need help. Offer choices when possible: “Would you like this sweater or the other one?”
It’s not about perfection. It’s about preserving agency—one small moment at a time.
Final Thought
Whether you’re a caregiver, a home care business leader or someone simply stepping into the home for a visit—you’ll likely encounter dementia.
Not just because of your work—but because this is the world we live in. More and more families are facing these changes. More care happens in the home. More of us will be called to respond, even if we didn’t expect to.
You don’t have to be a memory care expert. You don’t need a script for every situation.
You just need to show up with calm, curiosity, and compassion—and a willingness to meet someone where they are, even when that place keeps changing.
That’s how we care with dignity.
That’s how we care with heart.